Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Those Awkward Times When You Realize You Aren't As Young As You Used To Be

1. You are invited to playgroup with all of the young moms at your church.  You glance around the room and smile awkwardly. You have just realized that if every person in this room were to get pregnant, you would be the only one to qualify for a high risk pregnancy due to advanced maternal age.

2. Your husband texts you from work. "Hey honey. So I went to the gym today and worked out. However, I threw my back out getting dressed." Hmmmm..when you need ibuprofen after getting dressed in the morning, it's not looking good.

3. Day after day you stare at the cute young parents walking to pick their kids up from school. You are silently embarrassed. You think to yourself from your air conditioned car, "yeah...I did that too...10 years ago. Jerk."

4. My husband got a job offer because someone told him that they  were hoping for a "more experienced looking" candidate.

5. You're three year old can outrun you. Granted, I have nerve damage down my right leg. But come on...she's THREE!

6.  You used to wake up several times night to feed a crying baby.  Now you wake up several times a night to go to the bathroom.

7. On the same note, during an amazingly terrible karaoke rendition of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" at a Christmas party, you abruptly cut your act short because you are praying no one can see the urine running down your legs.

8. As long as we are being honest here...the rebel in you decides to take your rebelliousness to the next level. Seriously. Wait for it....just wait. Yep. That's right. We are staying up past 10:00 tonight. Not sure what we are going to do. But we are doing it.

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